"hold off, Is it a night out together?" Podcast Episode 102: The Chart

Recently on “Wait, Is This a romantic date?” we’re joined by Autostraddle CEO and

L Word

expert
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. You got that right! This episode is all about lesbian interconnectivity â hooking up with friends’ exes, buddies connecting with our exes, plus the culture produced by all of that drama.

Come for gossip, stay when it comes to mental control. And before that enjoy a-game that assessments Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she normally will never.)

Thank you so much for all the great feedback after all of our premier! When you yourself haven’t yet consider giving us a rating or review!

SHOW RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese built an
Old Hollywood information
this is the intersection of my personal passions.

+ Listed Here Is
the article
I reference where I mention hooking up with my roommates.

+ My personal crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a music video clip on her behalf track
“something you should state”
!

+ As anyone who has merely seen a handful of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with few days C.C. Babcock was actually stunning in my experience whenever it turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina informs me they essentially still are.)

Drew:

I would personally end up being very good with-it existing. I might never add somebody else without their own permission. Nevertheless the notion of whenever some one ended up being like, “make sure you are connected with me,” I would resemble, “Yeah, it is the existence i have resided. Really don’t mind.” Is that odd? Is that problems?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, i might feel terrible not being. I’d wind up as, “Wait, I am not sleeping?”

Theme song plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And welcome to

Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?

Christina:

Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the top questions. To start with, will it be a romantic date? Preciselywhat are times? That dates? Can we like times? They are the sorts of concerns that people address on this right here incredibly professional and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m additionally an author at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer online. I’m improving at explaining my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is united states. Which is whom we are.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore the primary subject this week will be the Chart.

Christina:

I recently believed it required a sting. I don’t know. That thought truly dramatic, but i do believe it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Thank-you, thank you so much. No, no, no. The right amount of drama.

Christina:

Thank-you.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re speaing frankly about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I really like that phrase as it appears like you should restart the lesbians. It may sound like the net connection actually operating.

Drew:

Yes. it is very advanced level, very futuristic, but also has existed since there has been lesbians, I think.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars would state when they found the most important lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of those created in to the sand. And I believe that’s just what that movie is mostly about, right? It’s about the chart? That movie with Kate Winslet additionally the mud fossils?

Drew:

Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cave women. I would enjoy that lesbian film.

Christina:

Well, as I have not observed it, I’m going to bravely declare that it was. Cool.

Click here: https://gaytogether.org/local-gay-fuck-buddies/

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like there is countless lesbian period pieces, but we have now never gone right back that far. And I also think it’s the perfect time we carry out.

Christina:

Let us just hold getting it further back in time.

Drew:

Before we have to our major topic, you’re nevertheless learning all of us. And I also believed it could be enjoyable to relax and play a-game the place you men could actually analyze Christina. So our icebreaker because of this week is actually a little online game that we call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I’m, again, thus pressured about it. This may you need to be the way in which i-come into the online game. This could be my personal video game mentality, somewhat high-key, only a little stressed. That is fine. We are all discovering.

Drew:

I think that’s fantastic. I do believe that prompt you to more susceptible, perhaps.

Christina:

Among the best feelings.

Drew:

Only a horror, simply a serious terror. Therefore, the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is i will describe a scenario. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina follower fiction. And I also’m likely to pause after every little area to-be want, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure you have never lived with someone, do not want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will possibly say yes or we’ll state, “I’m ready.”

Drew:

If you do not â well, we’ll see here. But I’m excited. I think I’ve possibly damaged the code.

Christina:

You cracked the rule? I am excited.

Drew:

Let’s see how very long this takes. And if there is a constant would, I think you victory? I don’t know how you will find champions right here.

Christina:

I am not sure that we now have champions within the video game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I’m not sure should you decide’ll accept that after that. Thus I’m going to get going.

Christina:

Reasonable enough.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the pal’s wedding ceremony. Inspite of the large number of romcoms you soaked up, you probably did not head to this marriage thinking you’ll meet anybody because, really, this isn’t a romcom. This is the actual and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your own designated chair and therefore are glancing at your telephone whenever you understand a female at your table wants at you. She presents herself as your pal’s former babysitter. She’s stayed a friend associated with household, but she doesn’t actually know any person there. She looks like mid-forties possesses a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to get you a glass or two. Once she compares, you realize she’s six feet high, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So that you understand what? I am just probably hold on there and start to become similar, now, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am fascinated. I’m fascinated because i may get put as of this wedding ceremony. But to date I am not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is completely fair. Totally reasonable. Okay. So that you spend the whole wedding ceremony getting to know one another. Absolutely just an immediate spark and quick chemistry. And certainly, you are doing get together together with intercourse is actually incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And thus this wedding was in Northern California. And so you both increase your remains for three times to fuck and explore and eat at restaurants and bang. Therefore provide to split the expense of the now combined place, but she laughs you off and it is similar, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” So the then three days tend to be miracle. You’re feeling your own walls tumbling straight down. You’re falling faster than you previously have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus simply for clarity’s benefit, i am having a tough time imagining a world for which I got three surprise days away from try to spend time with people i really do perhaps not understand. That seems bonkers. However, if I did, beneficial to myself. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this time. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is good. You simply met. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Many thanks really.

Drew:

So she returns to nyc while return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That’s where We stay.

Drew:

And you are texting continuously. That is where you are living and it’s also in which this woman life. And you’re texting constantly and also you see each other several times 30 days. She is extremely active with her job, but she actually is rapid purchase you a train citation so you can come see this lady and stay at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Right after which 6 months go. And one night when you’re off to meal, she requires one move around in along with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to New York? I do not love nyc. No, I’m not relocating from the six months tag. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. You keep dating cross country. She knows that you will need some time and this woman is prepared to watch for you. Some more several months pass. Its now already been over annually. Your own landlord tells you they are offering your home to a developer who is setting up condos, so you can not renew it. You need to discover an innovative new destination. Your today girl tells you that no force, but her provide however stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i’d U-Haul for 2 factors.

Drew:

Yay! Fine. Kindly tell us.

Christina:

Primarily, in a world which my personal property owner sold the house to improve it, my personal property owner is currently my best friend, making sure that seems like something went wrong inside our relationship. And I must merely keep Philadelphia anyhow. And if I have to move in using my girl over here, that appears okay. That is okay. Completely great. But yeah, I think I might need an external force like a mean landlord.

Drew:

Which is so â fine. I did so believe might need to need construction for there, therefore I’m pleased We realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is exactly what has to affect me personally first.

Drew:

Really, i am glad to know what it takes. So theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, simply how much more time?

Christina:

Actually, that may went on for a long period. Philly and nyc commonly even that definately not one another. I obtained room over here. We are moving to and fro. We’re having memories. I really could have leave that roll for a long time until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst person i understand.

Drew:

I did not know Shoshana owned your own house. Well, there you are going.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, to-be clear.

Drew:

And that I’m happy that I’m sureâ¦ possibly in case you are actually ever, so if anyone’s ever dating both you and wants one relocate, maybe your girlfriend told Shoshana to sell our home in the interest of your own commitment.

Christina:

Truthfully the fastest means â someone would simply have to speak to Shoshana and be want, “Just kick the lady down.” And she’d wind up as, “Yeah, positive. Naturally.” That might be how it took place, even in the event she did not promote your house. Someone would you need to be like, “Could you merely kick this lady away therefore she’s going to simply get over it and relocate beside me?” And she’d state yes. A hundred percent she would do this. That’s what friendship is actually.

Drew:

Everyone loves that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is actually breathtaking.

Drew:

Really, i’m like we learned alot about yourself.

Christina:

Cheers. I believe like I learned lots about my self, as well. Threat of homelessness is truly the point that helps to keep me personally transferring any scenario, I guess. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is fantastic.

Christina:

Which was truly exciting. I’m just as happy to maneuver into our main segment because i do believe discussing lesbian connection with this particular visitor, with this specific special guest, i believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. Exactly how are you presently experiencing?

Drew:

I’m so thrilled. This can be specialized. And also by that, I mean an

L Keyword

expert, but additionally some a professional into the subject in front of you.

Christina:

I believe a couple of things tends to be real, my friend. I do believe a few things tends to be real indeed. Can we need to present the visitor or can we want our visitor to introduce themselves?

Drew:

I would love the visitor introducing by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I will say that the guest may be the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its weird to-be the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, it’s.

Riese:

I had to not state anything. I didn’t actually exercise. I did so state circumstances. I had to sit down here calmly.

Christina:

And also you had been truly fearless. Along with your confronts had been valued.

Riese:

Thank you so much.

Christina:

Though this is certainly clearly an audio method, i would like all of our listeners to know that Riese was generating some good impulse faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There is different ways become heard. Do you know what What i’m saying is? That’s what i say. I am the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is myself. You will find a dog called Carol. And that I have actually dated folks.

Christina:

Congrats on kickball!

Riese:

Thanks a lot. I have been involved in men and women.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. Which is great to carry to this, this right here online dating podcast. Which is good.

Riese:

Yeah. I think thatâ¦ Is there other things?

Drew:

No, i believe which is fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

What you may should share.

Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina:

Compared toâ¦

Riese:

You Realize when someone goes likeâ¦

Drew:

It’s like as soon as you blow. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be terrible, so I merely exhausted all of them from my mind.

Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Well, I instantly considered you because of this topic.

Christina:

That is correct.

Drew:

Because first, certainly, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian area were like, I’m not sure, having sex with others who people they know have seen sex with since well before

The L Keyword

was previously a series. But i actually do feel just like

The L Term

solidified a particular social thought of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you would have a lot of insight into this topic.

Riese:

It’s correct. A couple of article writers, i do want to state, of

The L Keyword

had this actual data of those in addition to their buddies these people were drawing about wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, was one of these. She talked to all of us about this, that they had constructed this. Because demonstrably, everyone else in that copywriter’s space had fucked others in creator â you realize, as well as the prolonged internet of this generation of lesbians in L. A.. And they also saw that and they certainly were like, “Let’s place it for the tv series.” Several of those are on the chart. Like, one particular which â¦ like, genuine everyone is regarding chart as bull crap.

Christina:

Which is incredible. That is the method that you understand you have made it.

Riese:

Actually that adorable?

Christina:

That could be thrilling personally.

Riese:

And therefore if you haven’t viewed

The L Word,

first of all, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of just one of our direct fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has every thing over her wall surface. And it also could be the name of an internet site . that they began called ourchart.com that flopped. Plus the idea â¦ and it’s really from inside the pilot, i do believe. From inside the initial event, Alice begins talking about exactly how everybody’s linked, because everyone’s connected using this person. And that I can hook up you, like you’re most likely only two levels away from me. Which was actually correct. Like, despite having Dana, that has very restricted knowledge because she ended up being a closeted football player, they however could link this lady. That is certainly actuality since it is true.

Christina:

That is tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition seems like.

Riese:

That is tradition. That is queer society right there. And now everyone else helps make their own maps.

Christina:

Yeah. In order for was going to end up being my then concern, ended up being have actually either of you made a chart? Because I do not think I have, I am also variety of today considering like, the thing that was this this past year seated at my household for if I didn’t generate a chart? Like, the thing that was the point of that, actually?

Riese:

I think I completed it within my diary, in the same manner like â¦ Because I like, I don’t know, arranging details, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe that’s in addition exactly why I am surprised that You will findn’t completed it. I love the concept of categorizing circumstances.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I’m not sure exactly why its so interesting, but it’s. It really is fascinating to-be love, wow, most of these men and women, they are linked. It is wild.

Drew:

Throughout the tv show, when ourchart.com is actually devised, they’ve a genuine information that individuals can add stuff. And I feel like something you joked in regards to on

To L and Straight Back,

and from now on people say constantly is like, when this existed in a proper way, no-one would place their names about it, nobody would feel comfortable putting their own names onto it.

Riese:

You would.

Drew:

I would personally. I would personally be really okay with-it existing. I would personally never add another person without their own authorization. Nevertheless the notion of love, each time some one ended up being like, “Confirm that you will be connected to myself,” I would resemble, “Yeah, it is the existence I resided. I really don’t worry about.” Would be that strange? Usually a challenge?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, I would feel terrible not-being â¦ i’d end up like, “hold off, I’m not about it? Like, i’m very sorry, what?” No, that would actually send me personally into lighting ethical anxiety about which i’m as individuals, the things I’m performing. Am we interesting? Perform individuals {like